and when she talked about the fall

I've moved to Twitter, which is pretty much LJ except with short, one sentence blog entries. I'll get back to LJ eventually. Maybe.

I got a membership to the AGO the other week but I haven't put it to good use yet. I might do that tomorrow - put on my black beret, sit in an art gallery and sketch. Maybe I'll even set up an easel.

I usually feel inadequate after visiting art galleries though. When I was a kid I watched Bob Ross on PBS and tried to learn all his painting techniques. I watched him as he mixed a palette of vibrant greens, as he delicately used his fan brush to create a lush forest. Immediately after that I went to Michael's and bought art supplies, so that I too could create a beautiful landscape, just like Bob Ross had taught me.

Turns out Bob Ross was the worst art teacher I ever had. My lush forest looked like a green blob. My snow covered mountains looked like big blue triangles wearing small white triangles as hats. Bob Ross, you made it look so easy! You inspired me to paint only to have me realize all my artistic shortcomings! WHY BOB ROSS, WHY!!!

I saw some paint-by-numbers at the art store a while ago. I think I'll go buy some.

So I finally got a last.fm account, which was a huge mistake because it totally made me realize how uncool and un-indie I am. Case in point - Rod Stewart is #4 in my top artists. Jackson Browne is currently #12, and Jagged Edge somehow snuck in there at #40. Seriously, who still listens to Jagged Edge!? I do, apparently; it's because the Run DMC "Let's Get Married" remix is fucking catchy.

OH MY GOSH, you can delete artists from your library. Robbie Williams? DELETED. Ok, ok...I won't be lame, I'll leave Robbie in there. But The Ataris are totally going. Oh those junior high years, when San Dimas High School Football totally ruled.

Speaking of which, the other day I was feeling all nostalgic and I watched about 5767954723958 Youtube videos of r&b songs circa 1998-1999. I'm going to listen to those songs RIGHT NOW, so that my last.fm recently played will consist of

Jagged Edge - Let's Get Married
Next - Too Close
Black Street - No Diggity
Usher - You Make Me Wanna
Allure - All Cried Out
The Tony Rich Project - Nobody Knows

Wow I just "loved" those songs too! LAST.FM IS MAGIC. My profile makes me seem like I have music ADD though. Hrm.

Ok I'm going to listen to some actual cool music now, so that I can seem, well, cool and stuff.

I'm currently at work, or in hell - the two are interchangeable.

Anyways I was thinking about LJ earlier and how I used to update almost every day. Then gradually it died down to, oh, once every four to eight months. I wondered why and realized that it was probably Facebook's fault. I mean, reading mere words on LJ is boring compared to creeping on other people's Facebook pictures. Don't you feel the same?

So I decided to cut myself off from Facebook. 1) Because people were starting to catch on to my stalking but more importantly 2) to force myself back into writing. You know, maybe find my voice or whatever.

I mean was reading my past entries and damn, I was pretty fucking funny back in the day. Ok fine, mildly entertaining at best. But still.

I have currently been away from Facebook for 8 hours. This probably won't last very long.

Does anyone else find that it's awkward getting a hair cut? I had one yesterday and I'm not the type to talk while my hair's getting done. My stylist isn't the talkative type either, but maybe that's just because he feels the awkwardness I exude. I've seen the same guy three times now, and still the conversation is pretty much limited to the following -

Dante the stylist: So how's work?
Me: Ok I guess.
Dante the stylist: Any exciting plans for the week?
Me: No, not really.

Then a pause that never ends, until -

Dante the stylist: This is what it looks like in the back.
Me: Oh thanks ok bye.



I have to go through this every 3-4 months. It's excruciating.

I was listening to "Party All The Time" today and realized that I hadn't been to Eddie Murphy's imdb page in a while. I know, I should check that shit more often. Because otherwise I would never have found out about "Untitled Eddie Murphy/Romeo and Juliet Project (2009)."

wtf Eddie Murphy! You were so cool back in the days of Golden Child and Coming to America. What happened, man. What happened.

wtf I fainted and hit my head on the sidewalk yesterday. I'd only had two drinks at Jasmine's house before we walked a few blocks over to Crews. We were standing in line and I was completely ok, not even drunk, when suddenly I felt dizzy and FELL THE FUCK OVER!

That's how I knew it wasn't my usual "celeste-passes-out-drunk" scenario, because when that happens I just gradually fall asleep. The dizziness that hit me last night felt like the other times I've fainted.

Oh, yeah, I've fainted before. In 5th grade, we were rehearsing for a choir show and I was standing on the top bleacher. It was really hot and stuffy and suddenly I sorta just fell backwards.

Another time was during Christmas mass, when everyone was standing up and holding hands praying. Everyone, that is, but me. I was on the floor. Actually that happened two years in a row.

Anyways the people last night were concerned and tried to help me up so I could get a cab. I sort of fell again and that's when an ambulance was called. The paramedics were assholes though, probably because they figured "pffft another drunk on a Saturday night."

So now there's a giant lump on the back of my head. And it was bleeding, but that's stopped and now it's probably a giant scab. Ew.

I've been away from LJ so long that I forgot these list things existed! Also, this makes me look all intellectual and stuff.

Stolen from lost_narratives


The Big Read thinks the average adult has only read six of the top 100 books they've printed below.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicise those you intend to read
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've only read 6 and force books upon them.

( list )

I always get self-conscious when I order at Tim Horton's. Most people go for the standard double double, so I generally feel pressured to do the same.

But tonight I decided that enough is enough. I convinced myself that my irrational fear of being judged for how much sugar and cream I choose to consume is, well, irrational. I walked right up to the woman at the counter and asked for a large Chai tea, with three creams and four sugars.

The woman's immediate response was "FOUR SUGARS?!" Her face contorted quickly into a look that said "wtf you're crazy." Two employees within earshot also looked at me like I was crazy. The man in line behind me? Yep, he looked at me like I was crazy too.

I watched the woman as she begrudgingly put 4 sugars into my tea, then I bolted out of the there before anyone else had the chance to give me strange looks. Four sugars isn't that bad...right?

At Pride yesterday a gay boy came up to me and complimented my attire. I was wearing plaid (as I usually do at gay events, to blend in), this time with suspenders and high-waisted shorts. He said that I had given him the courage to wear plaid again and that I was truly his "thinspiration."

"Thinspiration?" I asked. He told me to Youtube it.

Remember that anorexic/bulimic craze on MySpace? Well let me tell you, it's moved on to a new medium - the cheesy Youtube picture montage.

Seriously, "Thinspirations" are ridiculous.

And here's another one, but you have to sign in to your account and verify that you're of age to watch it.


Being the investigative reporter that I am, I also went on Wikipedia to find more information:

As an encouragement to further lose weight, members often exchange thinspiration (or thinspo): image or video montages of slim women, often celebrities, who may be anything from naturally slim to emaciated with visibly-protruding bones. Thinspiration can also take the form of inspirational mantras, quotes or selections of lyrics from poetry or popular music.


Thank you, random gay boy, for seeing me as your "thinspiration." It sure is a confidence booster.

During my third year at York, I had a screenwriting prof who wanted everyone to find their own voices. She told us to let go of our censors and to stop imitating other writers or styles. By the end of the course she wanted us discover our own unique ways of expression. The problem was that I always wanted my voice to be David Sedaris.

I mean really, how does he do it? He can pretty much make anything hilarious while I'm here struggling to think of entertaining stories for my random internet journal.

A part of me always has that writing style in mind, so I guess that's why I still haven't found my own voice. Free-writing exercises haven't helped either; you're not supposed to edit yourself but somehow I always go back and check and re-write and cross out and I don't know, I can't help it.

Writing is hard. I give up.

This post is a kind of a week late. Also, to make a long story short, the subject heading for this post should really be "Celeste got wasted at the MMVAs open bar, knocked over a table of glasses, then puked and passed out in the VIP washroom."

I don't remember what happnened, since I was unconscious and all, but apparently security kicked me out of the VIP area. And since no one could move me, the building manager had to open up the offices to find an office wheelie chair to put me in. So I went down the elevator and onto the street passed out...in an office wheelie chair.

Thank goodness my coworker was there to help me. But she was also drunk, and couldn't remember where I lived, and therefore called MY BOSS saying "Celeste is unconscious and I think she lives in Brampton, what do I do!" The obvious choice to them was to call an ambulance. I ended up spending the night in a gurney in a hospital hallway. Woooo alcohol!

What my coworker didn't know is that I pretty much pass out when drunk, like, all the time. Usually there's a burly man friend to carry me to a bed though so yeah. Ambulance it was.




p.s. my boss was pretty pissed the next day. oops.

wtf I woke up this morning without my voice! Like, completely out of nowhere! I was fine yesterday, and the day before that I was coughing a bit, but otherwise everything seemed ok.

I can still talk, sort of. Except my voice is a low whisper and really raspy. I pretty much sound like that voice in horror films that terrorizes innocent victims with phone calls.

In fact I'm kind of tempted to call my own friends up, to say things like "I watch you when you sleep" or "I'm wearing your underpants." And by "kind of tempted" I mean I already did.

I don't have cable in my apartment, so I make do with a precarious contraption of tinfoil, a fork and a cheap antenna. I only get like eight channels but it's cool - I can still watch shows like Sue Thomas F. B. Eye or Wonder Woman or, you know, Ready or Not.

In the last episode I saw, Busy and Amanda were at summer camp and they tried to pull a prank on the boys! Oh those two and their antics.

Anyways tonight I was in the village with Sonia, Irene and her friends and for some reason I was talking about how awesome Busy was. Um too bad I didn't realize until later that Irene is ACTUALLY friends with Busy.

How did I realize this? Because we were standing outside Slacks, a lezzie dance club, when suddenly an older looking and much sweatier Busy Ramone walked out, recognized Irene and started talking to her - like a normal person and nothing at all like the Busy Ramone I knew so well from Ready or Not!

Apparently she has a real name (Lani Billard or whatever, does it really matter?) and likes to party in the village.


Awww. Busy Ramone. All grown up.

The blogging trifecta of Geekologie, The Superficial and I Watch Stuff has kind of inspired me to start writing again. That and it's 5 a.m. and I can't fall asleep.

My work hours are getting to me. Sometimes going home at 3 is scary, like when strange men proposition me from their cars - "Yooo babygirl, you need company tonight?" I guess I just look like a hooker in my hoodie and jeans ensemble.

But sometimes going home at 3 a.m. is awesome, like when it's Friday and the club district is going home at the same time. On the streetcar this morning there was a group of 6 or so people who seemed like typical drunk club goers - the men looked somewhat greasy and the girls were wearing low cut tops. Then they started talking to each other...using sign language! ALL OF THEM!

Everyone on the streetcar kind of fell silent and stared in amazement. Then I thought, deaf people go to dance clubs!? Who woulda known.

When was the last time I updated? Damn.

Nothing much has happened in the last few months. Well, I mean I graduated and all. And I officially joined the "work force." Unfortunately instead of the usual 9-5, I work Monday to Friday 6 pm - 2 am. Yes, I'm a stripper. Ok I'm an assistant editor but I like telling people that I'm a stripper.

(p.s. everyone should watch COLIN & JUSTIN'S HOME HEIST on HGTV Canada, Tuesdays at 9! my name won't be in the credits until about a month from now but i thought i'd mention it anyways)

Oh and I got a part time job at Change Room (next to the H&M on Queen). I'm socially awkward though so I can't sell clothes very well. Come buy things from me!

Life is kind of routine. And boring. It's weird not having to write essays or worry about marks anymore. I'm an adult! Hooray!

Actually I'm at work right now, with nothing to do. So I thought I'd update. Hrm. Well then. Goodbye.

Oh no. eTalk Daily didn't include me in their "On The Lot" segment. This is so disheartening. Damn.

Haha yesterday was my "On The Lot" interview. Apparently only 27 people across Canada were chosen. I don't know why I was one of them. I think maybe they thought I was retarded, judging from my 45 second submission.

Anyhow. My chances of becoming the reality TV star I've always aspired to be are pretty much shot now. Obviously I am not "TV material." Sigh.

There's a fucking castle on a hill in the middle of the city!!

I wonder if they have any Irvine Welsh tours. Of like, "schemes" and projects and ghettos and such. Hrm on second thought maybe that might be a little dangerous.

I'm in Inverness right now. We got here yesterday and stayed in Burghead, this random coastal town that was so tiny but amazing anyways. I feel like I'm in DEAR FRANKIE. Or some BBC drama.

Ta.